I don't want you to change

I just don't want you to be so much the same.

It must be love. It just has to be. How else do you explain me putting up with his shit?

At home, he is fine. Friends can come over. Family can show up and he is fine. For the most part. Let us step outside of the house and interact with my firneds or family and he just shuts down. If things don't go exactly like he wants or expects things to go, he has a meltdown. It happened again last night. (Yes I said AGAIN)

My BFF and I went to dinner. When I was single she and I had weekly dates. Now that I am not single we don't get together much at all. She and I have not gone to dinner together, alone since 2 weeks before Christmas. Lately any outings have been as a group and incuded the Man of the House. Well we all know that you can't conduct "girltalk" with a man around. You can't even really have "girltalk" with more than just 2 girls. I've missed my "girltalk". I've missed the outlet and the fellowship of our weekly meetings.

Anyways we went out. I checked with The Man to make sure I didn't have a prior committment. He was ok with it. Or so he says. He always takes it personally when I want to do stuff without him. He just doesn't get that my life was full of friends and family and that I have already pulled back alot to make sure I'm giving this relationship the time and committment that it needs. But every once in awhile I have needs. Social needs that he can't fulfill. Needs to just be away. Not for a long time or because of anything wrong. Just because.

So BFF and I went to dinner. When we were done I was going to head to Wal*Mart to meet The Man. He was still about 30 min away because he didn't think I would be done so soon. Ok, no problem. I texted him to let him know that BFF and I were going to
T!m H0rt0ns for a coffee. She and I jumped into her car and rode together. As we were getting there she suggested just going to DD in Wal*Mart instead so that we wouldn't have to be concerened with the time. The Man could just meet us there.

He showed up and circled the parking lot looking for my car. It wasn't there so he called. I explained what happened and that we'd go pick up my car after shopping. He slipped into a complete meltdown. Demanded that I come outside RIGHT NOW so he could take me to get my car. I said No, I'm still visiting with BFF. He proceeded to tell me how dumb it was to ride there together. He thought we were only doing dinner, not spending the whole night together. Yada Yada Yada. I just smiled into the phone and told him that if he had a problem bringing me to my car that BFF would be fine with bringing me back. He got all huffy and then said he was coming into the store.

He comes storming in. Looking as disgusted as he could and told me that he was taking me to my car RIGHT NOW and he WASN'T TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER. BFF has seen him show his ass before but even this was over the top. What was I supposed to do? I got up like the good little submissive girl and followed my daddy out to the truck. I WAS FUCKING PISSED. This isn't the first time he has completely embarrassed me in front of my friends and family. This isn't the first time he has made a scene in public.

We went to the restaurant and I got in my car and drove back to Wal*Mart. I still needed to shop for a few things. When we got back inside he asked where BFF was. I looked at him in total disbelief. I said "you are kidding, right?" He looked all confused. He says "No". I explained as quietly as I could that he was an asshole and once we left she left as well. She had no way of knowing if we were even coming back and if we did she didn't want to interfere in a very uncomfortable situation. Not to mentuon that his little outburst caused her to feel like he was upset that we got together sans him. His voice started to rise as he tried to shift the whole thing over to being my fault. I pointedly told him that we are in public and I'm not discussing it further until we got home.

I called BFF on the way home and she was incredulous. That he would act like that and that I would put up with it.

In amongst all of the hubbub I never considered breaking up with him. I never thought of asking him to move out. I was just pissed and was going to read him the riot act when I got home. And I did. I told him he is grounded. If he wants to act like a spoiled child then he'll be treated like one. If he wants to stomp and scream and act immature he can do so at home. I'm not inviting him to do anything with my friends or family until he starts to show some maturity. His moods are volitile and embarrassing. His temper is quick and unreasonable. I would never in a million years behave like that around his family or friends and he doesn't behave like that around them either.

About 2 hours later he had a very good understanding of where I was comng from and that I am not putting up with that kind of outburst again.