The blahs

Yeah, I have them.
I have no desire. None.
No desire to do much of anything.
I feel indifferent.
I feel stagnant.
I feel lifeless.

My heart hasn't pounded in passion in months. My loins haven't moistened at just the thought of it. I don't long for or yearn for anyone or anything right now. My soul isn't aching, my heart has stopped bleeding. I am just lumbering along in limbo.

A jump start, that's what I need. The battery is dead but not beyond help.

Is it the Welbutrin? I don't think so because that has always made me horny in the past. It has evened out the mood swings which is a good thing.

Is it the bumps in the road with Dana? Yeah, I think that is a big part of it. I'm finding out what I already knew about myself. I would rather be alone than in a relationship that is not working.

Maybe I am a little too cautious in that aspect though. Maybe I am too picky. Maybe I do want perfection. Not perfection in the truest sense of the word, just someone who is perfect for me. Someday.

Someday I will be energetic and vibrant and filled with life and hope. For today, limbo is not such a bad place.