At Last

The words were finally spoken. The honesty and true feelings came out. We both knew it was there. All along. But neither dared to say it. What if the other didn't feel it? But Halloween was the day for open conversations.

We had been talking, alot. Many times a day and for long periods of time. Talk of dreams and wants and needs and how to get what we wanted. We both knew the other was the answer to all of these issues but still the nagging doubt. The history and water under the bridge, could it be too much? He has chosen others over me before. I have been hurt by him sooo many times. Is it really possible that we could end up together. I don't know yet but it sure looks that way.

We talked a little in the morning. I could just sense that things were going to happen soon. The way he talked. The last couple of times we had talked he didn't even mention "her". By the afternoon my stomach was in a twisted knot. Filled with anticipation and nervousness and angst. The phone rang. We made the usual small talk.

Then he asked "Do you think we'll end up together?

There it was. The moment of truth. The chance to answer, honestly. The chance to tell him without putting myself totally on the line.

"yes"

"me too" he repllied

So simple, no hesitation.

I asked how long is he going to make me wait? He said not too long. I still don't know how he will handle things with her. I will broach that question today. I can't wait forever. It's not enough to simply know he loves me and wants to be with me. He needs to end things with her. Soon. No excuses. No silly timelines. He should have never been with her to start with but that's another whole issue.

I am ecstatically happy. So much so I can't sleep. I think of the possibility that within a few weeks I could wake up in the night in his arms. I think about making love instead of making a blog post. I think about so many possibilities and probabilities. I think of how strong these feelings are. They have bridged 2 years and endured much heartache.I think of how profoundly I have loved him and still love him.

We chatted again on my commute home. As we were hanging up he said "I love you". I said "I love you too". He said "no, I really love you" and I just smiled to myself. I said "I know and I truly love you too"