Am I expecting too much

We've been evolving for a week and a half into today's conversation. In reality we have been evolving for 2 years into today's conversation. Ok...it took me a very long time to open myself up and admit my feelings to him but once I did it felt good. Really it did. So today I took another brave step.

"What are you going to do about Debbie?"

The hemming and hawing began. The same old excuses. I've got so much on my plate. I have so many things to think about. I'm worried about my mother and my brother. I still have my trailer to sell. I don't want a huge confrontation. I don't know if I'm staying in Maine or moving back to MO. Blah Blah Blah

"What does any of that have to do with the question?"

""Still hemming and hawing he says he needs time on his own. He doesn't want to jump into anything to quickly. He wants to be able to hang out and talk and let the relationship evolve into what it's going to be.

"You know you have told me that before and done the opposite"

Yeah I know but if you and I get together I want it to be real. I want it to be forever.

"why didn't you worry about those things with Gayle or Debbie?"

He quietly says he doesn't know.
Ok....in for a penny in for a dollar...

"Are you in love with me?"

He goes quiet, then says I care about you deeply and I love you.

"It's not the same"

I don't want to answer that on the phone. I do love you and care about you and I think we could have a good life together.

Now it's my turn to be quiet.

He asks if I'm still there.

"Yes"

Babe, I don't want to answer that kind of question over the phone.

"Don't worry about it, you've already answered it"

What does that mean? I haven't answered shit.

"Your answer or lack of it tells me what I need to know"

Really? What does it tell you?

"that you're not, no big deal"

I never said that. Just that there are some things that need to be said face to face especially the first time.

It goes on from there. He talked about all the obstacles. I finally said that I'm not pressuring him. I never have and I never will, but that I want more. I'm ready for more. All the obstacles can be worked through except Debbie. I'm not playing second fiddle anymore. No timelines. He is the only one that can make things happen. I have no control over anything. He says he knows. He knows he has to have a talk with her. Just not sure when.

He's not gonna say anything. He's going to keep playing the game. I'll never be his choice. I'll never be important enough and he'll never be into me enough for this to come together. He's not going to stay with Debbie but he's not coming with me either. I'm the permanent one. The end of the road. The marryable one only that would take making a decision. The M word was his not mine. He claims he wants forever yet here I am, filled with doubt, like always. He giveth and he taketh away.