What were you thinking?

As you dialed my work number? Were you just hoping to hear my voice or did you really want to talk? What was going through your mind as your fingers dialed my number? Were you remembering the passion? The kisses? How you lifted me up onto the bar? How my legs encircled your waist as we kissed. Hungry for each other. Were you thinking that? Or was your mind on another time, when you had grown tired of me? Could you feel me watching your number scrolling across the screen? Could you feel the debate? To answer or not? Could you feel the hurt and resilience to not go down that path again? Could you feel the relief as the phone went to voicemail and I knew I had made it? I had been strong.

What were you thinking as you dialed my cell phone? Were you determined to make contact? One way or another? Were you thinking of the crisp white sheets and laying there with your hand over my heart? Do you remember your promise that my heart was safe with you? Were you thinking how we fit, perfectly, no awkwardness? Just two people who had seemingly been together for years. Or were you thinking of a time when I was still calling, hanging on while you were letting go? Could you feel my heart pounding? Waiting for the third ring that would take you to my voicemail. Could you sense the debate my head and heart was having? Could you feel the uncertainty of what I was going to do? Could you feel me watching? Waiting? Please let it just go to voicemail before I lose my nerve. Could you feel the relief that I was feeling? Relief that once again I had been strong. Relief that once again, you couldn't stay away. Relief that you still remember. Whatever it is you still remember.