What to do about Dana?

I must say I'm at a loss. My heart says it isn't right to continue to play out this game if I know that it's going no where. But my head says to protect myself and not to act irrationally. I feel like there is no need to just end things right now. He's between jobs and has enough stress. I love him and enjoy spending time with him enough to keep going. But I also know that the least little thing that I plan without him will raise a ruckus. I guess for now I'll ride it out and when the ruckus comes I'll let him know that my heart and head are headed out the door and if he doesn't want to stay he is free to leave.

It's weird because I do love Dana and I have enjoyed alot of the things we have done together. I did feel for awhile that he could be "the one". We are compatible on many levels. But the one main level we aren't compatible on is his level of neediness and my inability to satiate that or deal with it. I really wish he was more laid back and easy going and not so darned quick to spout off. I wish he didn't embarrass me in front of my friends and family. I wish he wasn't so ready for a fight all the time. He is too ready for a fight. The other night we were laying on the bed and he was giving me a back rub. I was on my stomach and he finally got up and straddled my back and really dug in. It was a great back rub but then he did what any typical guy would do and he started working his penis in by my butt. (sorry to be so graphic) A couple of times he came really close to the hole where no one is allowed to go. So I lovingly and comicly said to move away from the back door exit. He says (in a grumpy voice) "I'm not even near there". I think i know where my own asshole is!! Good gawd Maude. He makes it sound like I was complaining for the sake of complaining. Ummmm...no! THis blog is complaining for the sake of complaining. Telling him to stay away from my ass is survival mode. He really can be such pinhead.

But, on the other hand he loves me so loyaly and completely. I know that there may not be anyone who loves me on that level but it's suffocating and it's unhealthy. For him too. Maybe there is someone out there who wants that kind of intense relationship? That would be the girl for him. I'm not that girl.