I went to a toy party on Saturday. It was at a friend of Dana's and I have gone to one before with her. The product is from Slumber Parties and all of their parties are girls only. NO men. These parties get involved and if you have a lot of people there (like there was) it can go about 2 1/2 hours.

I also went to a toy party once with another friend that was a "Jack and Jill". Boys were allowed. It was fun and we had a good time. Dana enjoyed it. But it was a different company, Undercoverwear. I know, it sounds like I hang out with a bunch of horny kinky people.

Anyways, when I went to the party on Sat it was with the understanding that we don't need anymore toys (yeah we have a couple, nothing too outrageous) but I do like the lotions so I knew I wasn't buying much. Mostly the obligatory $25-$30 worth of product. Well, I like the stuff and it is a bit pricey so I agreed to host a party, in Nov. (you all are invited hehe)

In the mean time Earl and Dana and Dana's friend T-roy (who is the husband of the girl who had the party) was at my house building the shed I spoke of. Dana was very good in that he didn't text or call me all day. He was busy with the boys. When I got back to the house I went out to check on their progress and let T-roy it was safe to go back home. I announced that I was having a party in Nov. Earl and Troy kept on working and just kinda mumbled about women and shopping.

Dana on the other hand had a fit. "Well I'm going to that one"
"no you're not, it's always 'girls only'"
"bullshit I'm gonna be put out of my own house"
"then you'll be put out of my house"
"I don't see why I can't go"
Ok now it's getting stupid and even Troy spoke up and said "dude it's no big deal, you can't be up her ass ALL the time"

I just walked off and mumbled to myself about how this is sooo not gonna work. I'm not going to make it much longer with him. I figured I'd let it blow over and like usual he'd say something later on to let me know it's no big deal and he over reacted. But it never came.

The next morning I decided to approach the subject. "You were just kidding about the party yesterday, right?"

I could feel him getting all tense and nervous. He got all defiant and said "I don't think it's right that the men are not allowed, period" I said well that's the way they do those parties and I can't help that. Then he started in about how we don't have the money for that shit and that we had agreed to not buying more toys. I agreed and I didn't buy any toys but sometimes a girl just wants to feel and smell sexy. It benefits him too and I paid for it, not him. He was just pissed that once again I have plans without him. After a few minutes of arguing I finally said that I would call and cancel the party. He said nothing. He didn't concede at all. Stuck to his guns. He's gonna show me who's boss.

Pushing, further and further away. So far now that I don't know if I can find my way back. I'm starting to feel like I don't want to find my way back. With the price of gas and oil I am dependant on him financially but I'm committed to getting beyond that. I'm sucking it up until next Spring.

I actually feel like I need to stick with it until next July. Earl and Deb have set a wedding date and she is making all kinds of plans for a wedding at Dana's trailer. So I don't want to mess up their plans. I'm conflicted because on one hand it's ridiculous that he's even thinking of getting married when he is still trying to play the game with me. It makes me feel bad for her. But at this point it's not my place to say anything. I have counseled him and said what I think but he is giving in to pressure from her to set a date. She wants to be married before she is 45 so they are getting married 2 days before her 45th birthday. He keeps saying that it probably won't happen. Most likely won't happen. It seems like he is waiting for me to do something before he will do something, but I'm not basing my decisions on him in anyways. I know from past history that he is unreliable and I need to make sure I'm ok on my own. I am also still working through my feelings for Dana. Why is he so damned fickle about promises and committments? It's all so confusing and makes me really question how it would have been for us?

Anyways, I'm hanging on, for awhile. But I may have to install padded walls.