Over and Over again
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
And I can’t keep picturing you with her
And it hurts so bad, yeah
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And I can’t take it I can’t shake it
Nooo
(Now that I’ve realized that I’m going down
From all this pain you’ve put me through
Every time I close my eyes I lock it down oh
I can’t go on not loving you)
I feel so close. I feel like things could go my way this time. I feel like he loves me. Wants me. Can't stay away from me. I feel like the whole thing is going to go down soon. But every time I have felt like this and wrote about it and thought about it and wanted it it has disappeared.
He asked about moving in a few weeks ago and I laughed it off. I asked him about moving in a few days ago and he said yes. Immediately. He's already making plans. I'm ok with that. She is still in the picture and may or may not move in as well. Sounds so silly but it's not my decision. I'm ok with that.
I still have a real hard time seeing what he sees in her but it's not for me to see. I know that she will be gone soon. He has tired of her. He was tired of her 6 months ago. A year ago. But this is his Em oh. He told me he has become a 2-year man. He doesn't want me to be a 2 year relationship. He wants more. I told him that his prior relationships have fizzled because he's not with the right person. I told him he reacts instead of thinking things through. How can a person be so organized and so together yet be so knee-jerk? I also told him that he is not a 2-year person. He has become a 1 year person and then spent the 2nd year trying to get rid of them. He laughed and thanked me for my frankness.
He called last night. We hadn't talked at all yesterday or Wed. He asked if I still love him. I've been sentenced. No matter what escape he makes I am still held prisoner.
"for life" was all I could manage to spit out.
"me too you" he said
Someday maybe it will all come together. Maybe someday is sooner rather than later. Maybe not.
7 comments:
I hope it all comes together soon honey. Just know I love ya boobabe. *hugs*
I guess I'm not following this all too well, and maybe that's the point. I'm not supposed to . Your brother is moving out. Two secret people are moving in. And this is another person who is moving in? Earl?
please don't be mad at me for being dumb.
Peg- Earl is one of the not so secret people moving in. I believe his girlfriend will also be moving in. That's what I meant the other day when I said I would tell you who it is but I know I deserve a scolding. I may be setting myself up for more heart break but for now it will be a good business arrangement. And yes, my bro will be moving out. Love him dearly but he has to go.
I just want you to be happy =) Love ya tons Boo.
Just move slow, Hon, you've been through an ordeal.
just big hugs...
(((boo)))
I just hope the best for you
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