Thursday, April 26, 2007

The blues

I haven't taken my wellbutrin for awhile. Not really sure why other than forgetfulness and laziness. But my "give a shit" emotion got turned back on so I started taking the pill again. It's not that I don't give a shit when I am on wellbutrin it's just that it's not so overwhelming when things don't go my way.

I have to be careful not to "love" him too much. I have to guard my heart and keep perspective. I have to stop seeing all the things I can't stop seeing. I have to just keep on keeping on.

Some days I just want him more than others. Most of the time lately I am good with what I have. I will be getting a little financial relief and some help around the house. Those two things overwhelm me quite often.

But sometimes I just can't shut off the emotions. I can't seem to stop waiting in vain. I can't seem to stop my skin from feeling his touch. I can't seem to get his breath off my lips. Some days I just need to be locked up in an asylum.

Today is one of those days.

2 comments:

Grandma Lola said...

Sweetboo, you are a better woman than I.

I'm glad you're back on your Wellbutrin. That should helop the overwhelming rush of emotions. I wish there was something I could say that would help or make things better, but I don't. So I'll just sit here, support you and be your friend.
love ya boobabe.

Anonymous said...

I wrote about almost this same thing in the "other" blog... I swear, Boo, we follow the same train...

Love you sweety!

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