The more things change

The more they stay the same.

He's coming home. I knew he would. I'm happy. But I also have it in perspective. He and I are just friends. Nothing more. Nothing less.

We've talked daily for the last week. He asked me last night why I don't call him. I said I know he is busy and will call when he gets a chance. He wishes I would call. I wish he were single and wanted me. Guess we're not gonna get what we wish. Of course I didn't say that. But I did think it.

I need to know in my own mind that I am not dwelling and holding onto something that is only in my mind. That's why I don't call. That's why I'm not going to start calling.

He's coming home in about 2-3 weeks. He's going to store his stuff at my house and live with her at his friend Ray's. For now. So he says. It's very deja vue. I'm not planning or hoping or anything. I just want him home because I know he is SO miserable where he is.

No denying I still love him. The depth is overwhelming sometimes. Sometimes I just cry out of frustration of what could have been. What should have been. What could still be. But I have no say. My heart is stubborn and has rose colored glasses where he is concerned. But my head is thinking clearly. It is.

Nope. No plans. No hopes. No dreams. Just glad that he'll be back.