A good news week!!

I got a big ass raise. I am in total shock. I knew that my promotion would see an increase in salary but 10%??? Holy Cats!!! Yup.....10%!! I am soo psyched. I already changed my automatic savings deposit. I started out in January doing $25 a pay period or $50 a month. In May I bumped it up to $50 a pay period. Yesterday I bumped it up to $100 a pay period. $200 a month going into savings is astronomical for me. $2.00 a month would have been better than where I was at a year ago.

Dana had an interview yesterday and it went really well. Hopefully within a couple of weeks he'll be back at work. Sure would make it alot easier. The other day he made a comment that shows me that we aren't truly working toward a future together.
I mentioned to him that Oct is a 5 week month. Our bills are based on a 4 week month. I told him on the 5th week that he only had to put in half of his amount to cover groceries. He said that's fine as long as he is back to work. I asked what he meant by that. He said that he can't put money into an account if he doesn't have it. I just sat quiet for a few seconds then asked what he would do if he was still in his trailer, for lights and phone etc. He said "well, I'd take money from my savings" I asked why this was any different. He was quiet for a few minutes then said he guesses that it isn't then said not to worry that we'd be fine. He paid $800 on credit card which paid off what his monthly charges were plus another $500 towards his balance. He's always done this to keep his balance low. And I commend him for this. It's good that he is conscientious of his money and bills and balances, but, why should he take money to pay down his credit card and think that he doesn't have to contribute to the household bills? ANd who is supposed to cover that slack? Me? I'm already paying 60% of the bills as it is and I've paid 100% of all the upkeep things we have done this summer. $800 on the driveway. $600 on the pool. I split expenses with him on our vacation.

I know I got this raise but at the time I had no idea what the raise was going to be. Normally I would be more than happy to carry the load for awhile but it seems like he just expected it. Like he can sit on a fat bank account and not pay because he's out of work while I spend every last dime to make the ends meet. I don't want him draining his account but if I'm going to carry the load I want it to be MY idea. Anyways, he did speak up and say he would still cover what he needs to cover and now it looks like he'll have a job soon anyways.

I didn't even tell him how much of a raise I got because I could sense that he wouldn't see it as a way for me to get ahead but as a way for me to pay more of the bills and him to pay less. We did do our budget based on incomes and now both have changed and we will need to re-do the budget but the fact remains that the bills haven't changed and he does reep all the benefits and luxuries that we are paying for. I just wished it didn't feel like I'm a sugar momma and I wish it didn't feel like he likes it that way.

Maybe I'm feeling a bit stingy with my money. I guess I do because I'm seeing it as a way out of this relationship. I see it as a way of bumping up the amount I pay toward my debt to get rid of it and the sooner I get rid of the debt the sooner I get rid of him. Maybe he is sensing that too. I know it's unfair and perhaps things will change and I'll fall in love again but it just doesn't feel that way at this point.