He hasn't asked but what if he did??

I put together a quick list of pros and cons to getting married (to Dana). There are a myriad of other reasons to get or not get married based on marriage itself and not the person in particular. But for now I'm focusing on the personalities.

I'm disturbed and sad that I came up with so many reasons to say no and not nearly enough to say yes. Although I do believe that loving him is a reason that matters most of all. I do worry that loving him won't be enough to sustain the relationship once all the negative things really start piling up on me. I'm already starting to worry that I don't love him enough or in the right way to overlook all those things or even some of those things.

I've tried to tell him the things that bother or hurt me but he is so argumentative and filled with denial that he does these things that the conversation is futile. And he always turns it around to be about the things that I do wrong. I know that I'm not perfect, far from it, but the only time he brings up my faults is when I'm bringing up his. To me that is retalitory and not his own true thought process. He has brought up a couple of things and I've tried to listen and see things from his side and many times he has been right. Some of the things I have made changes on and a few I have admitted are just how I am. He WILL NOT see my side AT ALL. He ALWAYS comes back with my faults.

I really hope he doesn't ask me to marry him because I know that I would have to say no. We would need counseling before I could even consider it.